Playboys and the Western world

I am about as single as one could be right now.  I made out with someone in the stock room in work.  This guy just looks at me and I want to undress.  The sex incredible etc.  But we hadn’t done anything for a month,  then I find myself making out with him in work. 

This is the day after the guy that should be made for me asked me to be his girlfriend. And I told him that I had to think about it.  He was perfect,  patient,  funny and kind.  But I didn’t want to have sex with him. Thats an issue isn’t it?

Then I went on a date,  and made out with him,  and made out with a random guy in a club.  I am a playboy peeps. 

Added to that. The stock room guy,  looks like he was sleeping with two girls at the same time.  He is the ultimate asshole,  especially considering I had asked about his relationship with the next door neighbour,  turns out that was a blatant lie. 

I am tired.  I have an ear infection and I am not making a whole lot of sense. Yay autoimmune diseases.

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Feminism and me

I am a feminist. I love being a feminist. I love standing up for what is right and supporting people.

I have started volunteering with the rape crisis centre and I love it. It is so interesting to share experiences with each other in a safe environment that show us that we are assaulted in one way or another and it has become normalised to a point that we don’t even discuss it anymore.

Wolf whistle here, stalking there, dates that get too gropey, men that don’t hear “no” and we have a narrow (if we are lucky) escape. It really worries me, it hurts my soul.

All men can be rapists. That’s a fact. They have the anatomy and the strength to overpower us and take advantage. If they have that in them they probably don’t even know. They see other men that attack as “them”; the bad guys. Then they go and lie to a girl to get her to sleep with them and don’t see how they are bad guys too.

I am fed up of the double standards, the victim blaming and the way that when each and every woman told her story she felt like she had to explain her clothing choice and all the precautions she had taken before her attack to PROVE that it wasn’t her fault.

I have been told it is normal to go through an “I hate all men” phase. I am fighting it with all my might and I know that a lot of women attack and undermine eachother and there is a lack of education and yadda yadda yadda. But seriously. I am in pain with all the stories, feelings and emotions.

There is a positive. I have met some of the most wonderful women in the training group and I am excited to get cloer to each and every single one of them. We are all so kind, thoughtful and supportive. At this point they are my Vancouver family and I don’t know what I would do without them.

It is sad that it takes a common enemy to bring people together.