“Wow, I don’t think I’ve ever read something more self indulgent and self righteous.
Where do I start.
Why you feel the need to email any of us is beyond me. You clearly hate me or highly dislike me at the very least, so why do you even care what I think? You had your mind made up about me long before you met me that night, X even told me this, and I don’t really give a shit if you were tired or whatever that night, that’s irrelevant. You thinking X wanted to make you jealous just shows that you really don’t know him at all, or at least didn’t at that point. What exactly was ‘despicable’ anyway [me]? I tried to chat to you both, and X tried to chat to us both, but I’ll admit this was difficult in a loud pub situation. I thought everything was perfectly fine until you went quiet and left shortly afterwards. You didn’t even say goodbye. What about YOUR behaviour on the night? I was pleasant and polite to you, because I didn’t want another Aisling situation, she made my life hell, and I genuinely wanted to avoid any kind of situation like that again. But here we are…..
You made me the third person in your relationship X, I never wanted to be. You labelled me ‘the ex’ and never saw me for what I am now, his friend. X and I were and are very close, that will never change, whether we are speaking or not. You cannot get rid of me, I’ll always be a part of him and his past. We grew up together. Bonds like that are never broken. You can’y just say he could have confided in other people, because every friendship is different. Some friends just don’t discuss sensitive issues. We do. I shouldn’t have to explain this, anyway…
You obviously view sex in an entirely different manner to how I do or X does. We can talk about stuff like that in a casual manner and it’s no big deal. What was said wasn’t intended to be disrespectful to you, we just take these things more lightly. Fair enough if you asked him not to talk about it or whatever, that’s something you can duscuss with him. It sounds like you haven’t forgiven him for a lot of things that happened months ago, you have to either get over things and move on or walk away, you can’t keep punishing someone for their mistakes, it’s just not fair.
He’s already told me this, so your little plan to hurt my feelings hasn’t been successful. I’m not going to compare our relationships either.
We used email, bebo etc because we had (and still have) no other option, so stop trying to make it look like we were using some special intimate way to contact one another that relates to our past relationship, it’s called necessity. Also, wait until you’re physically cheated on before you make that call, because you may feel differently.
It’s my decision who I go to advice for, so I don’t really care who you think I should or shouldn’t ask for advice. I don’t owe you anything. You have a certain relationship with your ex, I have another, it’s called difference, not everyone is the same. And, sex is not ‘sacred’ to me, or X either. Again, not everyone is the same! You sound rather inexperienced when it comes to sex and relationships.
From my point of view, you wanted him to choose between us from the moment you heard about me. You want/wanted to be chosen as the best, the one he loved/loves the most, I can see that. That’s what all this ‘me or her’ stuff is really about. As for discussing your relationship, if your relationship was that great then maybe he wouldn’t have to discuss your issues with other people, because there wouldn’t be any, or else he could’ve just talked things out with you if you both communicated well instead of having to express his feelings to others? But at the end of the day, I don’t know why he told me or whoever else that stuff, all I can do is guess, he can answer that one.
As for the texting stuff, why don’t you stop reading text messages that aren’t for you? It seriously smacks of insecurity and distrust.
Were you really that surprised he wanted to contact me or cared about my feelings? X will always want to talk to me, I’m a fixture in his life and neither you nor anyone else is going to change that, so get used to it.
A can speak for himself so I’m not going to address that section of your message. He’d/he’ll probably make a much better job of it than me anyway. I do think it’s noteable however that A has never had a problem with X and I being friends, because he realises that everyone has a past, people don’t come to relationships as blank canvasses. We’ve both had other relationships in the past but we both know that ours is the one that matters, so there’s a lot of trust between us. That’s why we work, despite living in different countries.
How dare you threaten us. Who do you think you are? Your entire message reads like an ignoramus trying to sound worldly and compassionate while displaying their tortured heart in a pathetic attempt to evoke respect.
You’re not one bit sorry if I’ve lost my friend. If you really loved him you would never have made him choose in the first place, but your teenage jealousy and insecurity propelled you to put your own selfish wishes above his happiness. It doesn’t bother me anymore that you made him choose, because in doing so you put a hole in your relationship.
I’ve still got my friend, speaking or not speaking. “
This is the shit I put up with at the beginning of my relationship. I am posting it up here because if I don’t post it anonymously I might regret what I would do with it.
He told her how I looked naked, what I liked to do in the bedroom (that I was the best), and that he gave me chlamydia and what treatment I was going through. Even though I asked him not to.