New York

This is so long overdue that it isn’t even funny.  I mean it has been a month! I actually cannot believe I have been home from America for a month!

Anyway I am going to fill you in on NYC. I loved it there. I mean it started off emotional for obvious reasons (seeing my Mam for the first time in three months) and then it got back to being comfortable between us. The same as normal. Though obviously I have changed a little but things are being adapted now.

So on the first night we stayed out at the airport in the hotel because I arrived in so late (BTW I just LOVE JFK. It lived up to what I imagined it to be). The next day we travelled into the city and I felt like it was a film set. I think it was because I have seen it so many times in the films and programmes that I felt like I had already been there before.

So we checked in to our apartment (nicely situated on the west side of Central Park) and we started to explore the local area. We walked to the Hudson River; well I think it was the Hudson river. It actually doesn’t tell me on Google Maps! Continue reading

Being home

So I will inform you on NYC at a later date.

At the moment I am re-adjusting to being home. It is not the best feeling in the world. After looking forward to getting back I have realised that even though I have changed in the last three months and grown as a person; the same has not happened to the people around me.

They have stayed in the same place.

I kind of expected this a bit but not to this extent. I want to stay the me that I was. I was happy towards the end. So chilled out. I mean no matter the situation I was in, I never had an argument and I never had a panic attack. After I got over that bout of depression at the beginning of the trip I have never felt better.

So imagine my surprise when the one person that I thought kept me on the right track ends up to be the problem? Now I don’t want to lay all my problems on this person. I mean it is just me and her in the world. But seriously.

She doesn’t treat herself with the right amount of respect and she has gone right back to telling me what to do all of the time. I am way past the rebellious teenager stage at this point. I just feel that we should be more equal and it isn’t happening.

I can feel the old me slipping back. I hate it. I really don’t want it to happen so I am going to fight it off with all my might.

I find it so hard to walk away from an argument with her though. She seems to think I am making it worse by walking away. This is so not what I am doing.