“I heard that Irish people are bad kissers”

So I am back on Tinder. You might think it is early, but after fixing myself after Stephen, I am ready to date and find someone to have a relationship with. I am not saying I will die if I don’t get that, but I am ready.

Just because Big didn’t want me or wasn’t ready for me, doesn’t mean that I stop wanting what I want.

Anyway I had a date tonight with a Canadian guy. OMFG SOOOOO BORING. I am starting to wonder if the only men that are going to be comparable to me interest wise are the other ones that have moved alone. It just makes them a lot more independent and interesting I guess. Because you know what? I was the most interesting person at that table and I was bored stiff. I know how great I am, I don’t need your input into the conversation to be how amazing I am. This I know.

So on the walk back to mine he utters the above sentence. Why do men do this?! I mean. Does it actually work? Are there women out there that automatically want to prove that they are the exception? Are there women out there that have such low self esteem that they have to make sure that the person that they are on a date with knows for certain that they, in fact, are a good kisser?!

He regretted it anyway. I ended up telling him all my bad kissing stories. “Oh my, I nearly puked in his mouth, oh! Oh! He had just eaten a meatball sub ewwww…” Things like that. That’ll teach him.

Oh Big. If you could even get someone to match with you on tinder you would have a bad date and realise how damned lucky you were to have me. Screw you.

Shinners x

Delayed reaction

So usually my posts are put up last thing at night. When I cannot sleep. It might account for the sometimes questionable grammar and spelling (please don’t start checking this post now).

This one is before I go to work. It is nearly midday and I have to get stuff out onto paper.

I had a great date on Wednesday night with a Canadian guy from Tinder. Turns out he has crohns too and what a kisser! So attractive, hairy. Just yum.

I had a second date with him last night. We were both tired, it probably shouldn’t have been done. But we did anyway. Still an excellent kisser but my God he is hard to read. I got the bus home and a sad song came on and I just started crying over PC.

This guy is so much more my type physically. And kissing. But I just miss that personality connection I had with PC. It was like we were best friends as soon as we met eachother. I really really miss him. Is there anything I can do about it? Probably not. He doesn’t want to do anything about it and I am so in love with him that I just don’t think I can do friends. Same situation all over again. I think I just have to forget about him. This is going to be really hard isn’t it?

Once more to the breach

Kill me. Kill me now.

PC has not stepped up the the mark. In fact, he has backed off more than stepped up. So I decided to take things more into my own hands. Online dating, well Tinder dating again anyway.

I had my first date from it. I know… I move fast, a date and a job in less than two weeks. I also am building quite the network of friends which makes me very happy.

So about this date. He is Irish, living in Canada for five years. Sounds like we picked him out of the country 2 weeks ago his accent is so strong. He rocked up in a GAA jersey and bad shorts and runners. For a date. No. Just. No.

I called him out on it and he tried to tell me that I judge people on appearance too much and that I cannot change him yadda yadda yadda. I snapped him out of that one. I explained that if a woman makes an effort then it is only right that he should too. It isn’t about changing someone, it is about putting your best foot forward and going with that. I think he got it.

Anyway. The craic was mighty, the funniest guy I have hung around with in a very long time. He even came dancing with me.

So we agreed to be friends. Then made out. A lot. A lot of it was to shut him up. The more he talked the dryer I got but when we kissed. Wow. I had to finish myself off when I got home, put it that way.

So he kept asking me to go home with him, kept begging me to let him come back to mine. Obviously he didn’t, part of me wants the next person I have sex with to be the last one. And lets face it, he is not going to be that guy; but my god that man has some body. Damn Irish accent. We will call him Tipp.

I took his sunglasses so I guess I will have to see him again…

So then I was chatting to a Canadian fella. I am actually going to call him by his name SIMON. I had such high hopes for this man. The one that I had most in common with. He then went on to tell me that he likes sex, drugs and sometimes gets into fights. I tried to keep it civil “I don’t compromise on certain things, I don’t like being around drugs and fighting outside of a ring doesn’t do it for me” type of thing. But then he got abusive. So I sent the first message you see here. Then he got worse…

Screenshot_2015-07-19-14-23-40[1]

What a fucking douche bag. He is blocked. Alerted to tinder. And deleted. I sent that screenshot to PC and he under reacted. No such thing as defending my honor or wanting to from our good owel PC. He really is not fighting for me at all. Funny thing is. I feel like if I was to show Tipp he would freak the fuck out. I think I like that about him.

Getting under to get over

I wrote a post about this before I believe. The thought process behind people telling you that in order to get over someone you must be ready to fuck someone else.

I personally think that this is complete and utter bullshit. However. And this is a big however.

This time I think it might just be what I need. I don’t think I need to have sex with someone else but I certainly need to chat to a few guys and maybe go on a date or two.

Enter Tinder.

I don’t know if Tinder is going to be better or worse in Canada, I just know that everyone I have spoken to here said that it is nearly impossible to meet guys out and about here, they tend to be fairly clicky when out and don’t leave their group to have the chats.

Yesterday I had decided to focus on getting a job, but it seems I already have a job lined up, then I wanted to make friends, but it seems that I am already doing that. SO it seems that all that is left is to get out there and date. Eeeekkkkk.

On a completely different note. I have made a friend. She is an Aussie girl, really cool, very different from me but in a complimentary way. She decided to tell me that she is newly single and has decided to try to meet other women, just to see what happens.

Interesting thought. I am in a new country, no baggage, I know no one. What do I want to try? The world is my oyster.

Life is a sitcom

well mine is anyway. Going to a fancy dress thing tonight. Dickwad bringing a date. My friend is now bringing a date and I am going dressed as her characters boyfriend.

the only other person I know is dickwads friend that I matched with on tinder. I am the ultimate third wheel and pain in a one night stands butt officially! Would I have it any other way? Probably not.

Now. To ask the guy in the bank along!

The Pond

I was just thinking how the dating pond has gotten bigger and smaller at the same time.

My last two dates, one was from France, the last one from the Czech Republic. Both I met online, both live and work in Dublin. Back in the day you were reduced to dating the men in your area around your age. Or possibly, friends of the family from a bit further afield. But basically you would date within your community, your county at least. Dublin was the mixing pot of course, what with a dock and many country people moving up for work, but generally speaking.

Now I always feel like even if I meet a really nice guy that I get on well with, there might be someone else out there better suited to me. Someone that I find more attractive, someone that I have more in common with. We always talk about guys feeling this way… like the grass is greener and wanting their cake and eating it too, but fact is, I feel it too.

If I move to Canada, am I going to meet that 6 foot tall guy from the Dominican Republic (their skin is like caramel), with a passion for travelling, a dirty sense of humor, Irish accent and  hairy chest? Probably not. But is it going to stop me from looking around for it? I don’t know.

I guess I am enjoying looking around. I am enjoying broadening my horizons and being single. If I meet someone that I click with I will see what happens then, but honestly? I think we need to stop blaming men a little for playing the field.

Lust

Lust is such a strange thing really. Feels a bit like love but mixed with imagination and infatuation.

I am in lust with dickwad. It is a burden that I have to carry as I am in lust with a man that I don’t know. In my head he is the mixture of the perfections and imperfections of the guy that I met that night but with none of the coke and all of the feeling like he is just not ready for me yet. That he is tortured, just out of a relationship and wants to make sure his feelings for me are true because he feels like he could fall for me.

The reality of course is that he was on a date tonight with a girl that he met on tinder. He knows that I was on a date last week so it could be a reaction to that but who am I fooling?! I mean nothing to that man other than an easy lay. Why else would he give his friend his blessing? He really gives zero fucks about me.

I need to get over this before the holiday. I don’t think his sister gets the whole lust thing and I really don’t want that conversation about him.

To sum up my last few days…

Everything that has happened, has been the result of a Bloody Mother Fucking Asshole.

Dickwad.

Back in the saddle

So tomorrow I have my second ever Tinder date. If any of you don’t remember this was the last Tinder date I went on. Awful. Just awful.

So after the events with Dickwad I decided the time was now. I am just ready to put myself out there. Now I am not saying that I want to sleep around or anything like that but I am ready to have fun with a guy. I haven’t cried over Dickwad, nor do I want to. Does that mean I enjoyed how a ONS made me feel? Hell no. But does it mean that I am now more open to the fact that I am not going to die if a guy sleeps with me and doesn’t call me back.

I am probably now more suspicious of men but I am now not giving them the power that they once had over me. I don’t want to up my number just to meet my one BUT I am not scared of how I will look or feel. My mam didn’t care ( and my mother really matters to me) and my friends didn’t judge. I tried not to, I did a bit, but I tried not to judge myself. I caught myself thinking that if I hadn’t just slept with him would he still be around? Possibly. But I don’t think I would want a guy that behaves like that to stick around.

So anyway, this date is with a French guy. I have only ever dated Irish and English before so this will be a big change. He is probably smaller than I would like but he seems really nice, even if his English isn’t the best. Plus he texts a lot (but not too much) and doesn’t seem to care if he seems eager. Plus he is super cute and is fairly active.

Win. Win.

I will keep you all posted.

Tinder and the modern face of dating

This is me procrastinating. I am meant to be attempting to write a short story and I just cannot face it right now… This feels like me and college. I really don’t want to be this way.

Anyway an update. I matched with one of my friends brothers friends (are you still following me?) on tinder. I didn’t have a clue who it was. When I am looking at group pictures I literally just look for the reoccurring guy and didn’t notice that dickwad was in a couple of pictures with him (that is his new nickname FYI).

This is where the weirdness starts. He knew who I was, asked dickwad what I liked and started asking me about Always Sunny in Philadelphia and I hadn’t a clue how he knew I even watched it!

Anyway, I realised who he was, unmatched him. Dickwad was telling my friend about it. The whole thing was so screwed up it is unreal. I feel like I have suddenly regressed into school where people asked you to go out with their friends!

Anyway. I met dickwad and his mate last night. The mate was sound, lovely guy actually. Dickwad behaved kind of ridiculously. Staying in his room till friends arrived. Barely talking to me, didn’t even look at be for Gods sake! Well at least I looked hot and he looked fairly coked up to his eye balls.

Before I arrived my friend told him I was coming around and asked him if it would be weird. His response “Erm… I don’t know… I think she erm likes me”

My friend just told him to cop the fuck on and said that I probably did before he became a prick.

So either neither of them like me and just want to ride me as I have a name of being easy, or both of them like me, or I don’t give a crap.

I think I am going to go for the latter option. They can keep eachothers bed warm I think. The wonders of anything on Tinder. Hotbed of drama.

To date or not to date?

This is the question that I am struggling with at the moment. My recent tryst with my friends brother made me realise that I miss having a man in my bed.

That coupled with the fact that I was off work sick for a week. I had nothing else to be thinking about and I craved to get a text, to have a man come by with ice lollies to sooth my throat. But instead I got “Why is it bugging you?”

I stayed at my friends night last night, he wasn’t meant to be around. Then he was. I saw his friend, I slept next to his sister, I heard him. I didn’t see him. I wanted to see him for him to realise what he was missing or for me not to give a crap suddenly. Or even better. Just for him to tell me that he was not interested and yeah. Btw. I am a coke head (well I knew he was anyway).

So I have had a lot of time on my hands. Went back on tinder. Saw Stephen on it. Head melted.

I want someone to stay over once or twice a week (with a date). To text me five times a day, give me a call once every two days. Make me feel safe. I just want to fall in love.

But yet. I am scared of being in love again. I am scared of being stung again. I want to move to Canada. I want to meet someone to itch that itch and be with me, be my partner. But I also want to move to Canada. I don’t think I want something casual before I go because I don’t want to get hurt.

I haven’t cried over the brother. I have to remind myself I knew him less than a day, I have no reason to cry over him but I am surprised I haven’t. I still find that I feel like I have a certain ownership of him even though I know I really don’t.

There is serious food for thought here and I am not sure I can be bothered to work it all out. I just want to meet someone that isn’t a dickhead. Someone that is special. Someone that thinks that I am the most special person that they have EVER met. I don’t want any games. I am so sick and tired of games.