“I heard that Irish people are bad kissers”

So I am back on Tinder. You might think it is early, but after fixing myself after Stephen, I am ready to date and find someone to have a relationship with. I am not saying I will die if I don’t get that, but I am ready.

Just because Big didn’t want me or wasn’t ready for me, doesn’t mean that I stop wanting what I want.

Anyway I had a date tonight with a Canadian guy. OMFG SOOOOO BORING. I am starting to wonder if the only men that are going to be comparable to me interest wise are the other ones that have moved alone. It just makes them a lot more independent and interesting I guess. Because you know what? I was the most interesting person at that table and I was bored stiff. I know how great I am, I don’t need your input into the conversation to be how amazing I am. This I know.

So on the walk back to mine he utters the above sentence. Why do men do this?! I mean. Does it actually work? Are there women out there that automatically want to prove that they are the exception? Are there women out there that have such low self esteem that they have to make sure that the person that they are on a date with knows for certain that they, in fact, are a good kisser?!

He regretted it anyway. I ended up telling him all my bad kissing stories. “Oh my, I nearly puked in his mouth, oh! Oh! He had just eaten a meatball sub ewwww…” Things like that. That’ll teach him.

Oh Big. If you could even get someone to match with you on tinder you would have a bad date and realise how damned lucky you were to have me. Screw you.

Shinners x

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Delayed reaction

So usually my posts are put up last thing at night. When I cannot sleep. It might account for the sometimes questionable grammar and spelling (please don’t start checking this post now).

This one is before I go to work. It is nearly midday and I have to get stuff out onto paper.

I had a great date on Wednesday night with a Canadian guy from Tinder. Turns out he has crohns too and what a kisser! So attractive, hairy. Just yum.

I had a second date with him last night. We were both tired, it probably shouldn’t have been done. But we did anyway. Still an excellent kisser but my God he is hard to read. I got the bus home and a sad song came on and I just started crying over PC.

This guy is so much more my type physically. And kissing. But I just miss that personality connection I had with PC. It was like we were best friends as soon as we met eachother. I really really miss him. Is there anything I can do about it? Probably not. He doesn’t want to do anything about it and I am so in love with him that I just don’t think I can do friends. Same situation all over again. I think I just have to forget about him. This is going to be really hard isn’t it?

From the beginning. Part one

So I just want to tell the story of my relationship from the beginning. Mainly to clear my own head in a safe place.

I met the OH online. We started to date and we didn’t click in person at all. But by text he was lovely, a gentleman. He made me pay half on the first date. Half of something I barely went near!

So second date comes around and we go to the cinema. I am all leaning in close and whispering in his ear. But nadda. He doesn’t once lean in to kiss me. I also didn’t even offer to pay this time 🙂 SO we ran into some of his friends and he didn’t introduce me. I thought this is it. I am done.

But he was so damn apologetic by text it wasn’t even funny. I really didn’t think he liked me seeing as he never made an effort to even lean in. But seemingly he was just nervous. So the third date came around. I told him to make a special effort. And he really did. But it fell through… there was a storm approaching so he ended up at mine, after about 4 hours of the date he finally kissed me. It was a perfect kiss… went on to have him scratch the fuck out of my back but it was all so so good.

The next weekend he came over to mine again, it was a Friday night, and I had had a date planned with the ex on the Saturday night for a long time. So he came over. We had sex three times and it was okay. Not amazing but ok. And it was fun!

The next night I stayed at the ex’s house. We basically ended it. It was a nice way to finish it all.

So back to me and the OH. The sex got better, we are into the same stuff which helps. Because I am a safety freak I asked him if he had ever had sex with no condom on before and if he had been tested. His response was “No never, and I thought I had something before but it turned out I had a urine infection so it is all good.”

On both points he was lying. I should have known. At 21 I was the 9th person that he had slept with. But I thought after 9 girls you would have the cop on to get tested and be honest about it.

About three months in we were drunkenly fumbling and I blurted out that I loved him. He didn’t say it back.

I spent a month feeling so insecure. I knew that he was in contact with all of the other 8 girls and I knew that he didn’t love me and I just didn’t understand. He invited me to a gig to meet his Ex. I accepted even if just to see if I had something to be worried about or if he just wanted me there to show me off.

I really didn’t want to go but I did. I was feeling very tired after work and I just wanted to collapse. We met her and she was his type down to the ground. Well what he had told me was his type anyway. So she went off and played some God awful music while we chatted. Then she came over and I may aswell have not existed. It was awful. Body language away from me. Not including me in conversations about people I didn’t know. Whenever I tried so say something she just spun it back around to her.

She went to chat to someone else. I told himself that I had had enough and I was off. I felt like I was playing third wheel.He let me leave, didn’t walk me out to a cab or anything. He also stayed out with her until past two in the morning. I spoke to him the next day to finish it. That was when it should hae been the end.

Done

I went on the date. It was very good. He was an amazing kisser. Not something I do on every first date but yummy.

I am done with the ex. Done. That easy. I deserve that passion and that want and it just clicked with me that I was tired of trying with him. I was tired of being the one that felt that was passionate. That wanted him.

I didn’t sleep with him. I was tempted. I see what people see in get over a man by getting under another. But this. MIGHT be special.

Jesus this is scary.

Date three

This one sneaked up on me. I didn’t realise it was here until it happened.

So this guy hadn’t kissed me at all for two dates, I was starting to think that he wasn’t interested in me. We had made plans to go to somewhere by the sea but because of the supposed storm approaching we thought better of it.

So down to my local we went. Had desert there and decided to come to mine and order pizza. TV watched, pizza ordered and then it began.

Oh the fun. No sex but topless, dry fun! My back  is in bits from the scratching and I am pretty sure I will have marks on other parts of me but it was very worth it.

I don’t know how I feel about him though. He is attractive but not hot. Funny but not hilarious. Nice not amazing. I have spoken to him more through texting and I really do not know how this guy feels about me either.

He is also a bit younger then me. I have never dated anyone younger then me. It feels a bit weird.

He smelt of sour milk. Bit in a good way.

Seperated

So I met a guy out last weekend. None of this online lark went on with this one.

I liked him. He rang me when he said he would (I mean someone ringing me has ended up being quite a turn-on compared to the owel texting), he was tall, had a good job and a bit of money.

So I decided to put our ten year age gap aside and go out and have the laughs.

Lots of fun was had. Although he was ok with silences, and somehow I just didn’t find them comfortable ones. He seemed intent at just looking at me and telling me that I needed to smile. Thinking about it; it might have seemed a little odd.

Anyway I think that he would have bruised like a peach if I had unleashed all of myself on him. Anyway he had the smallest lips I have ever seen never mind kissed but oh well.

So we moved on to the second bar and got to more talking. It turned out that he is separated. For those of you not in the know. You cannot get a divorce straight away in Ireland; you have to wait four years. So that is right. Not only was he ten years older then me, but he was also MARRIED God damn it.

He only told me because he had actually come into my place of work for wedding preparations two years ago. Seemingly the marriage only lasted candlelight. She was sleeping with her boss.

I don’t think I could have hidden my shock so anyway there was more kissing afterwards and then he ran off to get the bus. He missed the bus, I passed him and he walked me to my bus. He grabbed my ass and all. I did find it a bit odd that when we were walking he didn’t once go for my hand.

Anyway he never asked me if I got home safe. I didn’t like this at all.

So the next day was a second date with Mr stingy. I just am not sure. I like him but he just seems so young. We “ran” into his mates who seemed about 10 and then he didn’t fucking introduce me. Anyway he apologised. Also he hasn’t even kissed me yet.

The third date will tell. I am starting to get pissed off because I am loosing ammo with the ex. I want to be too busy for him but yet I am so tired from work that I am in on a fucking Friday night.

Anyway off I go to relax and think happy thoughts! I love this song 🙂

Snogathon

So I had one. Only not with the guy from last night. This is so not me! But boy was he yummy. Not as rough as I would have liked but it seems that even when I tone it down they think that I am.

Anyway we will call this guy KK and he has dated a girl for three weeks. He says it isn’t serious but then left me in town when she rang.

Oh how special I feel. One that couldn’t get it up and might be a player, the other that is so hot but may have a girlfriend.

Boy how I know how to choose them!