When the ex refers to you

People are most likely wondering how I moved on. I just noticed that one of my last posts was about how I was still madly in love with him, well rather, I was struggling to get over him.

Well, he finished paying back the money that he owed me. He then sent me a few texts asking for his stuff back. The way that he phrased the text messaged just wound me up the wrong way. He was all cold hearted, wanting money if I didn’t have his stuff or if I had damaged it.

Now. Hold up. Have I taken the high road? Yep. Have I had a few questionable moments? Of course. But I have ALWAYS been the better person out of the two of us through this whole thing.

So anyways, I respond that no, he would never get a penny out of me, and yes I have his stuff but I would need a bit of time to look for it. I had moved house.

Now through all of this, he started ranting online about me. Somewhere that he wasn’t registered under his name. He told his cronies that the money had been a gift, basically made out that he was a saint for paying me back. Then he did the worst thing ever. He called me a c**t. Now you may have noticed how I don’t usually block out swear words, but this word is so repulsive to me that I just had to do it.

So that was it. I blocked him from whatsapp, deleted him from FB, texted him the next day to say that his stuff was in work.

This is where it got interesting. I left them in work while I got my colonoscopy. I got back. They were still there. For weeks, they were still there.

So on Thursday I bagged them up. Marched over to his work and left them at reception. I didn’t think it took that much guts until I did it. I left and realised that I am a badass.

I texted him “Your things are down in reception in your job” his reply “Oh. okay thanks”

The next day I woke up to a reminder on my phone. It was Stephens birthday.

I took the higher road and ended up sticking it to the man.

So this is how I moved from blogging about the dickhead and started blogging about the new dickhead.

From the beginning. Part one

So I just want to tell the story of my relationship from the beginning. Mainly to clear my own head in a safe place.

I met the OH online. We started to date and we didn’t click in person at all. But by text he was lovely, a gentleman. He made me pay half on the first date. Half of something I barely went near!

So second date comes around and we go to the cinema. I am all leaning in close and whispering in his ear. But nadda. He doesn’t once lean in to kiss me. I also didn’t even offer to pay this time 🙂 SO we ran into some of his friends and he didn’t introduce me. I thought this is it. I am done.

But he was so damn apologetic by text it wasn’t even funny. I really didn’t think he liked me seeing as he never made an effort to even lean in. But seemingly he was just nervous. So the third date came around. I told him to make a special effort. And he really did. But it fell through… there was a storm approaching so he ended up at mine, after about 4 hours of the date he finally kissed me. It was a perfect kiss… went on to have him scratch the fuck out of my back but it was all so so good.

The next weekend he came over to mine again, it was a Friday night, and I had had a date planned with the ex on the Saturday night for a long time. So he came over. We had sex three times and it was okay. Not amazing but ok. And it was fun!

The next night I stayed at the ex’s house. We basically ended it. It was a nice way to finish it all.

So back to me and the OH. The sex got better, we are into the same stuff which helps. Because I am a safety freak I asked him if he had ever had sex with no condom on before and if he had been tested. His response was “No never, and I thought I had something before but it turned out I had a urine infection so it is all good.”

On both points he was lying. I should have known. At 21 I was the 9th person that he had slept with. But I thought after 9 girls you would have the cop on to get tested and be honest about it.

About three months in we were drunkenly fumbling and I blurted out that I loved him. He didn’t say it back.

I spent a month feeling so insecure. I knew that he was in contact with all of the other 8 girls and I knew that he didn’t love me and I just didn’t understand. He invited me to a gig to meet his Ex. I accepted even if just to see if I had something to be worried about or if he just wanted me there to show me off.

I really didn’t want to go but I did. I was feeling very tired after work and I just wanted to collapse. We met her and she was his type down to the ground. Well what he had told me was his type anyway. So she went off and played some God awful music while we chatted. Then she came over and I may aswell have not existed. It was awful. Body language away from me. Not including me in conversations about people I didn’t know. Whenever I tried so say something she just spun it back around to her.

She went to chat to someone else. I told himself that I had had enough and I was off. I felt like I was playing third wheel.He let me leave, didn’t walk me out to a cab or anything. He also stayed out with her until past two in the morning. I spoke to him the next day to finish it. That was when it should hae been the end.

I would love

To have a bit of money. At the moment I am really fed up of being so broke it is not even funny.

If I had even a little bit of money I would be out of this place! I have such itchy feet it isn’t even funny. I kind of wish I was working in construction, just so I could join the Irish fellas and go over. I really did love Vancouver.

I found myself daydreaming about America again today. It is nearly a year since I boarded that plane for my life-changing trip. During pilates, I found myself seeing the view from L’s car as we drove over the floating bridge. Seeing all the mountains, snow capped and the lakes.

I need to get out of my life in a while. Just get out. Get out of me. Get out of home. Get out of my relationship. Just for a while. Take a holiday. Someone give me the money please.


So, you know, I had a shindig… to say goodbye to me and my awesomeness.  It was so much fun. Ended in my drunken rambling and then falling into a coma of a sleep while my friends all chatted in my hotel room.

It was really the first party I have ever thrown or night out that I have ever organised (and yes that is including birthdays) and it went splendidly! Everyone got on well. My Mam even came! Class!

Then it was for the hangover on Sunday, I got over it my eating vast amounts of greasy food and then going to see Submarine in the cinema which was fairly good if not a bit Catcher in the Rye. Damn it being so sunny here this weekend though; my sunglasses just did not block out enough of the rays.  Continue reading


Urgh, just checked my bank balance and it is soo low. It was my friends birthday last night and I spent around the €100 mark. €100 that I DON’T HAVE. ARGH. 

It is not like I have money to throw around either. Working part-time has its positive sides (having lots of time to do whatever I want), but also a lot of negative (not having any money to do the things that I have lots of time for).

Anyway last night was not the may west. My friend just seemed down, so I tried throwing drinks at the situation. And suprisingly it didn’t help any. Continue reading