You know by now that I analyse a lot. I analyse current relationships and past ones. I try and learn from the past, I look at my behavior and I look at others towards me and I try to understand and move past things.
A few things that have happened.
My father tried to get in contact, Big has not offered any plausible explanation for the breakup. Be prepared for screenshots lads.
First. The message I sent to Big.
Then, my father, who found me on instagram and sent me a pm.
Excuse the bad editing skills. But WOW it has been a very emotional few days and I am pretty exhausted. I wish I was home so I could get some of that nurturing love that I need.
I know, reading this blog, it looks like I fall in love easily. I really don’t. Both with Big and PC, it was just a feeling of comfort and safety that I automatically felt. I think with PC it was heightened by the fact that it was such a whirlwind. Big is such a mystery. No reason that he has given actually rests easy. I wanted to meet today to get some answers but nadda. He doesn’t think it is a good idea so what can I do? I sent that message to him and if I don’t hear from him by tomorrow lunch I will have to delete him.
Thing is. I just really really miss him. It was two months but it felt like six, he was kind and loving till the very very end and now he has just shut his feelings off and is a stranger. Men do that so well. And funnily enough, he always had a go at me for making swooping generalisations like that about men. Because you know, he is all sensitive and shit. HA yeah right.