I am starting to think that there isn’t a “one” for anyone.
I know, I am late to the party on that one. But I guess, I kept on hoping that that childish, Hollywood thing would come true.
But I really have been thinking about soulmates. I think I have about four of them. None of them have been romantic partners but they are all people that I connect with in a really special way and that cannot be explained.
My mother is one. I am convinced we have traveled through so many lives together and that we just keep finding each other and travelling in any way that we can. It is really lovely and it feels like home as soon as I am around. In fact, just having a bit of physical contact with her recharges mine and her batteries and makes one feel more at peace. I know it probably sounds a bit crazy but it is true.
One of my best friends sent me the most wonderful texts today. I had sent her screenshots of the messages that I sent my “father” and Big. She said that she was sorry that I was going through all of this still. My response? “It’s okay, I had a good year”. Because you know. What more could I want but a good year?
Anyway. Today I got “No matter what happens, know that I am proud. Know that you are brave, you are strong and you are beautiful. Know that without you I (and many others) would be living a half life. Though there may be oceans and continents between us, I will always be here for you my truest loveliest friend and soul mate xx”
How can you ever feel bad about your life when you have such amazing things being said about you? It is something that fills my heart, knowing that I have at least five people in my life that feel this way about me. Okay, none of them will share my bed (apart from the odd spooning session) but there are other people for that. How can anyone really compare to that kind of connection? I demand as much (if not more) from my lover as I get from them. They are there for me through thick and thin and in exchange I am there for them in the same way.
I am a very lucky girl. I may not have my father, or Big. But I have amazing people in my life and I am a very very lucky person.
I have Soulmates.
I wrote a post about this before I believe. The thought process behind people telling you that in order to get over someone you must be ready to fuck someone else.
I personally think that this is complete and utter bullshit. However. And this is a big however.
This time I think it might just be what I need. I don’t think I need to have sex with someone else but I certainly need to chat to a few guys and maybe go on a date or two.
I don’t know if Tinder is going to be better or worse in Canada, I just know that everyone I have spoken to here said that it is nearly impossible to meet guys out and about here, they tend to be fairly clicky when out and don’t leave their group to have the chats.
Yesterday I had decided to focus on getting a job, but it seems I already have a job lined up, then I wanted to make friends, but it seems that I am already doing that. SO it seems that all that is left is to get out there and date. Eeeekkkkk.
On a completely different note. I have made a friend. She is an Aussie girl, really cool, very different from me but in a complimentary way. She decided to tell me that she is newly single and has decided to try to meet other women, just to see what happens.
Interesting thought. I am in a new country, no baggage, I know no one. What do I want to try? The world is my oyster.
So the boy is trying to fix my relationship with his friends.
He is failing miserably.
I gave him a list and he just doesn’t get it.
1. Don’t make me feel like the third wheel. He spends his time making sure that they don’t feel awkward around me. But I never get the same treatment.
2. Plan something that I will enjoy and then bring them along. Not drag me along to something that I hate so I am feeling uncomfortable. Our interests are just so different.
3. Make plans when I am able to go.
So his suggestion has been game nights, at his guy mates new house. Four of them live together. On a night that I have work the next morning. Make the plans after I have been in work for the day. At 9 pm.
Make it so I would have to get a taxi home. When I am broke and I have been paying for EVERYTHING. So I am broke. He can walk home. I cannot. He is not in work tomorrow. He has been at a late night class so he hasn’t been home.
He invites other people along at the same time as me. Way to make me feel special.