For nearly three years we had a regular conversation. It went something like this:
“Dance with me please”
“I don’t dance”
“Just once please”
“No Shinners, just leave it”
Okay. So he didn’t dance. I also never heard him sing, not even happy birthday, in three years. But anyway, about dancing.
So he never danced. I love to dance, I dance burlesque and I love it. I used to dance salsa, and I loved that, I wanted him to join me and be my partner. Three valentines days went past and I was hoping that he would take me dancing. Nadda.
We went to a nightclub with my friends once, myself and two of my friends (one guy and one girl) and he stood in the corner and didn’t move.
He went out twice this weekend, both nights he danced. He danced to the music he hates, and that I enjoy. He danced, he sweated and he moved. He also pulled twice.
Was it that I was just not the girl to make an effort for? I just keep on thinking that everything that he has done since we broke up is him being him. I don’t like some of it, but I like other bits. I just think he didn’t want to do it with me. If it was his ex, I think he would have done everything for her. But I was never her. I was never going to be her. And he still wants her. He still messages her when he is drunk. When will he realise what he had (me) and what he is chasing? He is chasing a lie.
I always thought he would hear this song, and be filled with regret. Maybe he won’t. We were never sunshine and daisies and we are better off without each other (well I will be one day) but maybe we should never have been together.